Good husband

Just to brag on the hubby for a sec. While writing that last post, I was sitting in my usual state-- wrapped tightly in a blanket in front of the computer, trying to keep warm. Our computer is located in what has got to be the coldest room of the house. It has only one little heat vent, way over in the corner on the far side of the room. So I'm usually chilled if in here for more than a few minutes.

So anyways... sitting at the computer, typing away. In comes the hubby and says "Stand up and give me your blanket." Okay. I do so. An he then wraps a new blanket around me. One he has just taken from the dryer, having put it in there a short while before that to warm it up for me. Ahhh. Nice and toasty. Sweet man.

My hubby = winner!

I'm Done

I. Give. Up.

The thermometer has been put away. No temping. No charting. No OPKs. No doctors. No drugs. No nothing. After 4 years of charting (off and on... but a solid 2 years of recent), I am very aware of my body and the changes it goes through each cycle. The hardest thing for me to give up will be paying attention to the fertility signs. Let's face it. I know when I am fertile. But, I'm going to do my best to ignore them and give that up to.

It's just too damn hard. I've had enough of feeling so hopeful month after month after month and then feeling like I've smashed my face into a brick wall when AF shows month after month after month. I know that to have a baby in my arms it would all be worth it. I still want that. I'm not giving up on the dream. Just on all the trying and crap that goes with it.

When I first started formulating this post in my head, I had a plan all worked out: Absolutely nothing the next few months. If not pg by our anniversary, then find a new RE for all the testing and a plan. Time is limited. If not pg within the next few months, it means I'll be 35+ when I deliver. Which means more worry and more testing on the pg side because of that whole age factor. Yep. This is the best plan.

But now, I'm not even so sure about that. Right now, lost in my "new cycle depression," I don't see the point. Why put myself and the hubby through more testing? To have an answer as to why we can't seem to get pg? Great. We'll have answers. And a solution that likely involves IUI and/or IVF. Neither of which we can afford.

Believe me, there are countless ideas running through my head on how we could pay for it. Some of them are even realistic... unlike idea #57-- win the lottery. There are things to look into. And, in time, I probably will. But there is a lot to discuss in taking that next step, and it means putting a lot on the line besides my physical and emotional state. I know it's worth it, but nevertheless, it is a big decision and not an easy one to make.

I want a baby. More than anything. But I think I'm finally hitting the point where I can slowly, angrily, and with much frustration, say that I realize a baby may never happen for us. I'm not ready to give up on it yet, but I'm starting to accept the what is. It hurts. It has me in tears. It breaks my heart. But it is the reality of infertility.

WHY?

At the risk of sounding like an obnoxious 4 year old......

WHY is getting pg so hard?
WHY did I get pg so easily the first try?
WHY can't I get pg again?
WHY can't my body just work like it's supposed to?
WHY are fertility treatments so damn expensive?
WHY aren't all treatments covered by my insurance?
WHY for that matter, aren't all treatments covered for everyone?
WHY do we have to go through this?
WHY is it so hard for people to understand?
WHY do you think I want to hear the details of your pregnancy?
WHY do you assume I'll be thrilled at your pg announcement?
WHY do you assume I want to hear about every little thing your newborn does?
WHY do people who know absolutely nothing about IF insist on telling me what I should/shouldn't do/try/believe/pray, etc.?
WHY does it have to be so hard?
WHY does my period insist on showing every single month?
WHY can't you just be supportive?
WHY does IF make me feel like a total failure?


Forgive my whine. Another arrival of AF today, so I'm in that "feel sorry for myself" funk. Care to whine with me? Feel free to add yours to the list.

Gravity

I woke around 1AM this morning, thanks to the dog, and decided that since I was awake, I should probably get up and use the bathroom. Before stumbling out of bed, however, I realized I had been sleeping on my tummy. "Uh oh," I think to myself. "Must mean my boobs are no longer sore, since it hurt like hell to lay on my stomach when I first got in bed. (Not a good thing since I sleep best on my tummy) Great. Means AF will be here in the next couple days and I'm not pg."

And then I stood up.

Immediately, the heaviness returned and the soreness was very obvious. Ahhhhh... gravity.

How do you clean up?

Every time I end up in a difficult situation... bad day at work, hard time with the hubby, yet another BFN... or whatever... it is a 99.999999999% certainty that at least one person will offer up "Go home and take a long, hot bath." Why IS that? What is it about baths?

I know many, many women who relish their bath time. Bubbles, salts, nice hot water, and they'll spend half a day in the tub. I've just never understood that and never gotten into it. What is so wonderful about sitting in a tub full of water that will inevitably get dirty from your body being in it? Ewwww. Not to mention, every time I would want to take a bath I would have to scrub the bathtub first. Soap scum. Yuck. Even if I scrubbed it yesterday, I could not, in good conscience, take a bath in it today, if it has been used for even a single shower, without cleaning it first or feeling totally grossed out by it and wanting to follow my bath with a shower. And where is the relaxation in that? And what is it you are supposed to do with all that time of just sitting there? It's not like I can take the computer in the tub with me. I've tried reading, but being a rather short person, I always find it difficult, at best, to manage to keep my head above water, but my bits all covered so I don't freeze, and still hold onto a book. Let alone turn the pages without soaking them. So what to do?

I am definitely a shower person. At least one a day. Sometimes two. I love a long, hot shower. It may be more economical and environmentally friendly to fill up the tub and sit in my own ick**, but I would much prefer to stand under the hot running water until I have drained the water heater entirely and the water starts to run cold.

So now, I ask you. What is it about baths? Am I missing something? Which do you prefer?

**Please don't think I'm some incredibly gross, dirty, stinky person. I am not. I shower every day. But I also work with babies and after getting drooled on and spit-up on and somedays peed and pooped on, I definitely feel icky when I get home.

Bells and Boobies

Just got home from handbell rehearsal. For those unfamiliar with how handbells are played, you ring your note, and when it is time for the note to not be heard, you pull it back into your chest to stop the sound**. NOT a good thing when your boobs get big and sore in the 2ww as mine do. To make it worse, I play some of the biggest bells in our group which means they are also heavy. O.U.C.H. For the most part, I'm pretty used to it. But man. oh. man. They really hurt tonight. And I get to do it again on Sunday... TWICE!

**If you want to see video of a phenomenal bell group and how ringing should be done, check this clip out. The piece is an arrangement of Trans Siberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve: Sarajevo 12/24."

Pepper's New Toy

I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one.
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.
~ Unknown

I've mentioned before that ours is a very spoiled doggie. Pepper gets new toys regularly. Mainly because she destroys most every toy we give her. Pretty much the only things that last more than a day with her are her Booda Rope Bones (and only the Booda brand last), her monster Nylabone,(and only the big ones will do) and her Kong. There is a very good reason Pepper only gets durable toys. This is why...

Cute new toy. A purple cow. Some of it rope. Some of it plush.


Of course... we knew it wouldn't last....


I kid you not. We watched the clock. This is what it looked like after 30 minutes:



And, just like a child, the newness of the toy wears off after some time. The cow lays around the house now, sometimes being played with, sometimes being ignored in favor of a different toy. After that initial half-hour, the destruction of the cow has slowed. The rest of his stuffing has been removed from his body, but that's about the extent of it.

Thankfully, Pepper is really only into the destruction part. She grabs little fluffs of stuffing in her teeth, pulls it out of the body, drops it to the side and sticks her nose back in for more. My bil's dog would just eat the stuff and end up at the vet with a major belly ache. We do watch Pepper closely with toys like this, but she is really good about destroying the toy and not her insides.

Plush toys are a rare treat for Pepper... for reasons that are now quite obvious. (kinda gives new meaning to that childhood rhyme, doesn't it?)

Ovulation Confirmation

So, we're getting ready for bed last night. Chatting all the while. Hubby gets into his pj's and crawls into bed, still chatting. I finish up a few things, start to undress, and as I take off my shirt, in mid-sentence, the hubby very loudly exclaims: "Your boobs are huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge." (I only wish you could actually hear it through the computer)

Such a man. Flash him some naked breasts and all thought goes out the window. Evidently, they're also larger-than-normal** boobies which adds to the distraction. Guess that means I ovulated.

** Not that he can tell by looking at them, but I can attest they also hurt like hell. Way worse than the last several months.

Pardon My Hiatus

That letter took some time and was very hard to write. And hard to post. And I couldn't help but feel it deserved a few days at the top of my blog for all to read. Erin deserved that.

But, life goes on, and so does my blogging. I'm crawling out of my cave and your regularly scheduled programming will return tomorrow. I Promise, my friends.

For Erin

My dear, sweet Erin,

You were due one year ago today. Which means, we should be celebrating your first birthday about now. Instead, we celebrate the very short time we had with you, with our arms empty. Your daddy and I took the day off work to spend it together loving and remembering you. Part of that time will be spent at the restaurant we went to the day we found out about you. Your grandparents were with us and it is where we told them you were on your way. Sadly, you didn't make it to be with us. Nevertheless, you are very much a part of us.

I often wonder what you would be like. What color would your hair have been? How many teeth would you have by now? Would you have walked before your first birthday like your mommy? Would you have the beautiful, deep brown eyes of your daddy? These things and so much, much more I wish we had been able to learn.

We long so desperately to hold a child of our own. We know it can't be you... though we wish it could. So we continue to try and try again in hopes of one day soon getting pregnant and having a baby. You obviously chose us knowing we would be great parents for you. If it's not too much to ask, could you maybe talk to God while you're up there, and remind him of this so He'll send us another baby soon?

Please don't be concerned. We are not looking to replace you. We realize that would be impossible. We are looking to grow our family. The scrapbook mommy made for you is waiting to be shared with your brother or sister. When the time is right, and he or she is old enough, they will know of the very special angel-- their sister-- who is watching over all of us from Heaven. He or she will know that they may be our first child on earth, but you were our FIRST child. While we would have preferred to have you with us here on earth, I can imagine no better guardian angel for our next baby than you.

I miss you, my angel baby. On this day more than ever.

With love always,
Your mommy

Blue Sunday

After a Blue Friday, what's the worst thing that could happen? A blue Sunday. As in, blue, due to a loss. When we finally had a chance in an otherwise crappy game, it was blown and we lost. Now I have to wait a whole season before a get to see my boys play again. That totally sucks. But, I still love my team.



P.S.-- I guess now I have to root for Da Bears for SuperBowl XL.

Tag! You're It!!

I've seen these when surfing the blog world, but this is the first time I've ever been tagged... thanks to Carrie (Tales of Woe).

Here it is:

Four Jobs I've had:
1. Fast food worker
2. Kindergarten teacher
3. Video production writer/assistant
4. Infant teacher

Four Places I've Lived:
1. Peoria, IL
2. Indianapolis, IN
3. Greencastle, IN
4. Mooresville, IN

Movies I'd Watch Again:
1. When Harry Met Sally
2. Harry Potter, any of them
3. You've Got Mail
4. The Sound of Music

TV Shows I love to Watch:
1. The West Wing
2. Commander in Chief
3. Gilmore Girls
4. Friends reruns

4 of My Favorite Foods:
1. Kraft Mac-n-Cheese
2. Chicken & creamy rice
3. Rice Pudding
4. Tostitos & Salsa-con-Queso

Four Places I'd Rather be Right Now:
1. Hawaii
2. Copper Harbor
3. Utah
4. Disney World

4 Bloggers I'd Like to Tag:
1. Prop Your Hips Up
2. (Non)Conception Confessions
3. Piece of Work
4. I don't have a fourth. Believe it or not, I only have 4 bloggers bookmarked that I know read my blog regularly (as I read theirs), and since Carrie is one of them, that leaves me an empty space. Maybe I should get out more.

Blue Friday

The mayor declared it BLUE FRIDAY. I am participating fully by wearing one of my many COLTS shirts to work. And the flag has been flying out front of our house for weeks. And the flag and sticker and stuff on my car. And the wallpaper on our computer. (What can I say? We are fans.) The mayor also asked that fans attending the game be even louder than their usual level in response to this article in a Pittsburgh paper. I've been to a playoff game. It is louder than I don't know what. My ears were ringing for hours after leaving. And we sat right by the PA system. The noise wasn't coming from there. Our fans are just plain noisy. Sooo wish I could afford tickets to be there this Sunday.

So, in honor of BLUE FRIDAY... a little joke passed along to me via email:


Terry Bradshaw, after living a full life, died.

When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Steelers flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity, Terry," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Terry felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up to the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three story mansion with a blue & white sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flag pole with an enormous COLTS logo flag, and in every window, a Colts emblem.

Terry looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro quarterback, I won four Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame!"

God said, "So what's your point, Terry?"

"Well, why does Peyton Manning get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said, "Terry, that's not Manning's house, it's mine!"

GO COLTS!!!

Ya Think?!?

Surely this article isn't geared towards women who are actually trying to get pregnant. For anyone who is TTC already knows these things. (And by "anyone TTC" I mean anyone who is actually TRYING to have a baby... not those in the "if my husband even looks at me, I get pg" category) A cycle much shorter than 28-30 days, means either an early O, or a short LP. Both not good for getting pg. Cycles longer than that mean a late O, also at issue in the getting pg category. Or, no O at all... which makes pg impossible.

Tell us something we didn't know.

TheIndyChannel.com - Health - Menstrual Cycle Length Linked To Pregnancy Odds

Another Day, Another Idiot

While co-teacher was on break this afternoon, one of our newer teachers was in my room covering for her. She's only been with us a few weeks, and other than "hi" and the occassional message relay from the boss, I've really not spoken with her much.

She's rocking and feeding a baby, I'm feeding another and she asks if I have any kids. Tell her no. No need to go into anything, right? She's shocked by that answer (as are most people) so I add that we've been trying for almost two years. Still, no details.

She then proceeds to tell me that she tried for almost 4 years before getting pg with her first. I'm thinking, "Cool. Someone who understands this." But, no. She continues to say that she did Depo-Provera after her first to keep from getting pg again, but when she went off it she was a regular "Fertile Myrtle." I think she has 3 kids. Maybe 4. I didn't ask. Was starting to fume at that point.

Of course... it gets better. After all of this, she then actually asks "So are you frustrated about it taking so long?" Kid. You. Not. She actually asked that. I'm quite certain there are still marks on my tongue from biting it to keep from verbally attacking her. Seriously. How can people be so fucking stupid and insensitive? Doing my best to keep calm, I answered yes, and that I've been seeing the doctor about it and even tried fertility drugs, so very frustrated with all of it.

Then she wants to know if we're going to do "artificial insemenation." Do WHAT? I was actually taken aback by that. I've been on TTC and IF boards for so long, I had actually forgotten people call it anything other than IVF or IUI or various other acronyms. At which point, I didn't know if I should laugh or feel sad that I've been at this for so long it has distorted reality and removed me from what "normal" people in the "real" world call things. Very. Big. Yikes.

Add to it, that today was "Little Mac's" 1st Birthday. Very bittersweet to see her turn one. We didn't go to the party last weekend, as I knew I wouldn't have handled it well. But I did give her a present today and some extra birthday kisses. God, I miss Erin.

What a day.

Comments

For some reason, Blogger is no longer emailing me when someone comments on my blog. Not the end of the world, since I can always log on and read them myself. But it kinda sucks for being able to respond to people when they ask questions or whatever.

SOOOooooo.... if you've asked about stuff in your comments, and not heard back from me, that is why. I'm trying to go through and respond to people on the posts, but it's taking a little time to get caught up. Especially if your comment is on a less-recent post, since I don't always see those right away. Be patient with me. If that doesn't work, scream at me to get my attention. LOL!

Have emailed Blogger about the problem, but not heard anything back yet. Anyone else having issues?

Can You Hear Me Now???

Big problems with our cell phones this evening. I never got the usual "leaving work" text message from dh. Nor the one that comes about 15 minutes after that to say he is on the bus. A little concerned, I sent him a text message to see what was up. No response. 15 minutes later, I send another message. Still no response. So now, I'm a bit freaked out. Close to time for his bus to come though, so Pepper and I walked to the end of the street to meet it. And there he was, right on time.

Seems none of my messages had gone through to him. So I tried calling his cell phone. A man by the name of "Nathan" answered. Mind you... dh is standing right next to me, cell phone in hand and it NEVER RANG. Very wierd stuff. So we head off to the cell phone store (since we were going out for an errand anyways).

As it turns out, they're having major issues with the network. It keep rerouting calls and messages to the wrong numbers. They are working on the problem and we just have to wait until it is resolved. No big deal. Our phones had started somewhat working again while we were waiting in line at the place. Felt sorry for the receptionist though. Everyone was in there to bitch about the problem, and some in a not-so-nice way. She was really nice to us, though, and we had a good laugh. Said she had just written a note for some guy about the network issue because his girlfriend kept trying to call him and a strange woman kept answering. We were cracking up when she told us this. Poor guy. Hope his girlfriend believes him.

For "Prop Your Hips Up"

Here you go, my dear. My two very favorite blinkies for this whole TTC mess. Especially wonderful to use when dealing with stupid people like your neighbor. They're a permanent fixture in all my sigs:

Hawai'i

I told the hubby I want to go back to Hawai'i. 'Tis where we honeymooned. And seems to be the only place we have any luck conceiving. Honeymoon was our first cycle of TTC. Came home knocked up. Haven't been knocked up since. Hawai'i must be a good thing. Not to mention how incredibly beautiful it is. Too bad hubby seems to think I was joking.

This one was taken from the balcony of our hotel room:

Rambling

Went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire again today. I really wanted to see it one more time on the big screen, and since it is quickly leaving theaters around here, figured this weekend was our last chance. I enjoyed it much more the second time around.

***************

Why do the Christmas decorations come down so much faster and easier than they go up?

We took all of ours down this afternoon and packed them away until next time. I love, love, LOVE Christmas, so always feel rather sad about taking all the stuff down. It's rather depressing, if you ask me. Everything looks so pretty and wonderful when it's decorated. Now it's back to the same ol' stuff for 11 months. BLAH!

***************

And I just have to say YAY ME! for a second. After dinner with the il's last night, we went to Target and wandered around a bit. (Translate: spent money we didn't really need to spend, because Target will do that to you) While there, I figured we should get coworker's daughter a birthday present. We were invited to her party, after all. And that meant going to the baby section. Wandered around, picked out a cute little outfit for her, walked by the pregnant couple who was playing with the scan gun and registering, and I DIDN'T CRY AT ALL! After this week, I was rather surprised about that. I'm one tough gal. YAY ME!

T.G.I.F.

After the week I've had (scroll down and read for yourself), I don't know that I've ever been so glad to see a Friday. Thankfully, all went smoothly at work. I'm home for the weekend. The hubby and I are meeting the in-laws for dinner later. And I'm grateful I made it through.

I did, in some clueless/why-didn't-I-think-of-it-sooner sort of way, realize that there is a reason for this cycle hitting me so hard and leaving me so down this week. Our angel baby, Erin, had 1/17/05 as her due date. 1/17/06 is fast approaching. And AF's arrival means a full year later and we still are not even pg. Gee! Ya think that could have something to do with it?!? Add to that, one of my coworkers was due the same time as I and everyone has been talking about her daughter's First Birthday Party coming up this Sunday. Duh! I feel foolish for not putting the pieces together sooner about why this AF has hit me so hard. I guess it's just because I was swimming in the thick of it and couldn't see.

I admire said coworker and I love her daughter. She's been in my care since she was 6 weeks old and we have quite a special bond. But, I told her this afternoon that I don't know if we'll be at the party. That I honestly don't know if I can handle being there. It's been a tough week and the thought of celebrating her turning one, when I should be celebrating the same with my own child is a bit much right now.

The Edge

That first day of spotting... knowing that another cycle is a bust and my period is about to arrive, always hits me hard. Facing yet another disappointment. But, for some reason, it's the second day of my period that always leaves me feeling CRUSHED. I don't know why. It doesn't make much sense. Of course, none of this really makes much sense. But today was one giant push to make it through.

I'm convinced that struggling with infertility means you are walking on a very fine line.... on the edge. To the one side is the happy face you try to put on day after day after day. The push to move forward. The drive to continue living and not let infertility totally consume your every being. On the other side, is a long, downward spiral into depression and sadness and anger and frustration. Wanting to hide under the covers and let the world go by. It is purely exhausting.

Days like today have me walking right on that edge.... on that very fine line between sanity and hell. For no reason. There was no "trigger." No pregnancy announcements. No new babies. No reason. It's just there. One day you're positive and optimistic and feeling carefree. The next you're fighting just to get through the day and to keep from falling completely over the edge into a darkness you fear you might never come out of should you get there.

For me, that hardest day is always day 2. That was today. I'm choking back tears from just a general sadness, even as I type. Yet, I'm thankful that I made it through the day. The edge did not suck me in, with all of its trying. As crappy as I feel, there's a sense of relief in knowing I still have a fight in me and a will to keep pushing and keep moving on. I'll go to bed and wake in the morning knowing the worst is behind me... at least for another month... and I'll no longer be peering over the edge, fearful I might fall in. Bring on Day 3.

Are you sure it isn't Monday?

Cause it sure in the hell felt like one. As expected, Aunt Flo arrived first thing this morning. I sure wish the damn witch would take a nice, long vacation. I'm sick of her damn visits. And I'm sick of the way she sends her obnoxious little dog, Spot, to announce her imminent arrival. How rude is that? Not to mention, I actually had some cramps this morning. Nothing too bad, and they were gone within a few hours. But it's the first really feeling-rotten, crampy first day of af since my surgery almost a year ago.

Then, we had a new baby start today. Cute little thing. But... she's breastfed. And she WON'T TAKE A BOTTLE. So... lots of crying on her part and lots of frustration on mine.

And as if that weren't bad enough. I actually had to conference with my boss today and received a written warning over a parent complaint. Her concern? I'm not friendly enough to her and her husband in the mornings when they drop of their child and I'm unwelcoming to their baby. She had to ask for my attention yesterday to tell me about her child. And while trying to do 10 things at once, like feeding 3 babies, keeping the big one from climbing on the little one, and putting bottles in the fridge, I've been heard to tell a baby who is fussing in the swing (changed, fed and in need of nothing but a nap) to "just go to sleep."

Admittedly, she did have to ask for my attention yesterday morning. Her child made the 10th one and arrived in the middle of breakfast time. 2 babies were in high chairs eating, and 3 more were crying to be fed. I simply didn't see her walk in the room (for the 2nd time, having already greeted her once) because I was so busy. Thankfully, my boss is quite understanding, knows much of the complaints are just because of this particular parent, and takes it all with a grain of salt. The write-up was mostly to appease the parent and follow procedure since they are valid complaints. Nothing I'm really worried about, but it still sucks big time that it happened.

The good thing in today? They declared tomorrow "Pajama Day" for the entire building so I get to work in my jammies all day. It has to get better, right?

An Eeyore Kind of Day

Grey. Gloomy. Occassionally some light rain. Perfect Eeyore weather.

My temp crashed today and I started spotting, which means the witch should be here in full tomorrow. Needless to say, I've felt rather gloomy all day, myself. Going to try another drug-free cycle this month. But I'm not worrying about that now. For right now, I'm going to give-in to my gloomies. Take a nice, hot shower, put on some comfy jammies (maybe my Eeyore sweatshirt), and do nothing the rest of the night. I think we'll have spaghetti for dinner. That's a meal the hubby makes. Then I really can do nothing.

We had a wonderful time ringing in the new year. The hubby got "The Pacifier" on DVD for Christmas, so we watched it. Hilarious movie and I recommend it if you haven't seen it.

After that, we made dinner and watched some TV. "You've Got Mail" was on and is one of my favorites, so we tried to watch it. Started at 9. I fell asleep by 9:15. Hubby decided to watch football instead. Woke from my nap around 10:30.

Had a fire going in the fireplace, and the lights from the Christmas tree and feeling a bit romantic. We've all seen on TV and in the movies the couple that gets busy right there by the fire. Tried it before. And the hard floor hurts my back and the hubby's knees. Not nearly as wonderful and romantic as one might expect. But, this year, we took care of that problem by setting up the air mattress right in the middle of the living room floor in front of the fire. Had some champagne. Watched the ball drop in Times Square. (It was SOO good to see Dick Clark back where he belongs!) And rang in the new year. Would have been some perfect baby-making time... if it weren't already 12 dpo. So instead, it was just some wonderfully intimate time just for the hell of it cause we love each other so damn much. Sex is always so much better when you don't HAVE to do it.

Today, thanks to someone the hubby works with, we went to the Colts game. They won, which makes me quite happy. Now the season really gets good.


The rest of January will be for some early spring cleaning. We're cleaning and sorting and scrubbing from top to bottom. Admittedly, I'm not the best housekeeper on the planet. So my big "resolution" (if you will) is to keep the house that way the rest of the year then.


Really a great start to the whole new year. Hoping the rest of 2006 goes as well.