Andrew's Arrival-- Some Final Thoughts

First of all, thanks for being patient with me while I got those four long posts out. As much as I know you all wanted to hear the story, the great length and detail in it was purely for my benefit. I want to remember as much as I possibly can about that day and blogging was a good way to document it.

Honestly, it's been one month and I still can't believe he's really here and he's really mine. In those wee hours of the morning when we're up for a feeding, and I'm sleep deprived and hormonally emotional, I look at him with such awe and amazement it completely melts my heart. It has been such a huge adjustment, yet I can not imagine life without him in it. Everything just seems so perfect. He's perfect. And I am completely in love with him. Yet, everyday... it seems my love for him grows. How is that possible?

My life is forever changed. There's the obvious external things. Like, before Andrew was here, when I'd go to bed at night, the fan had to be on for noise and the room always had to be completely dark. I even put a small stuffed animal over the alarm clock because the glow from the numbers would bother me. Now... the fan is on, but turned down to low... and there is a nightlight right next to my side of the bed so I can see Andrew as he sleeps. And the sleep deprivation is so much, that I don't even notice those things. He goes down, and the minute my head hits the pillow, I'm out too.

It has been an amazing month. Yes, a month. I can't believe he is already a month old. I swear we just brought him home yesterday. But, our month has been full of adjustments. Getting to know Andrew. His likes and dislikes and needs. And him getting to know us. Sometimes I feel bad because the hubby will be holding him and he'll be fussy and nothing will work... and then I'll take him and he'll calm down. I remind hubby not to take it personally... I have the magic, milk-making boobies and Andrew knows that. But... I do still feel bad for hubby in those moments. Andrew knows him and loves him, it is quite obvious... just not so much at those times.

He's growing and changing each and every day. And I keep loving him more and more. There are literally, times when I feel my love for him so strong and so deep it brings me to tears. I cried the first time I held him in the recovery room... when I finally had a calm few minutes to just look at his face and take in everything that had just happened. And to realize that this tiny, little being was, in fact, my son. MY son. A living, breathing part of me. And an equal part of the most amazing man I know. How incredibly blessed are we?

One month has passed already. And I look forward to each and every day and month we have to come.