Moving

3 years of blogging here. Too much frustration. So, I've made the switch. Update your bookmarks and links! You can now join me here:
http://kitkatxyz.wordpress.com/

UPDATE: Should you check-in here and see changes to the look or layout, it's just me playing with some of the new features offered here. Still liking the other place better, so likely a permanent switch. But, before I move the kid's blog, I want to be certain.

My Day

5:30 Wake-up. Get dressed. Brush teeth. Make tea. Eat breakfast. Check email. Pack school bag.
6:00 Get the kiddo up and nurse him.
6:10 Get puked on.
6:15 Change kid's clothes. Change my clothes. Brush his teeth.
6:25 Bundle up. Head to van.
6:30 Leave for school.
7:05 Arrive at school. Put things away.
7:15 Start school/work day.
7:45 Breakfast. Clean up applesauce kiddo spit at me when refusing to eat.
8:30 Routine diaper changes.
9:00 Extra diaper change for kid with runny poop.
9:15 Sit kids down for snack. Turn just in time to see one lean over chair and puke all over floor.
9:17 Clean up child. Clean up floor.
10:20 Puking child goes home.
11:15 Lunch.
11:30 Pooping child goes home.
11:45 Give my kid sponge bath, change his diaper and clothes after his runny poop.
12:00 Naptime. (Whew!)
2:30 Wake-up. Routine diaper changes.
3:23 Turn to see my son standing in puddle of runny poop, back and legs of jeans soaked.
3:25 Clean up the kiddo.
3:40 Clean poop off floor, play mats and carpet.
4:15 Leave for home.
5:15 SHOWER (much desired after all that)
5:45 Start load of laundry with all the puked on, pooped on clothes.
7:00 Leave for handbells.
9:00 Return from handbells to find little guy sound asleep on hubby's lap.
9:05 Take kid. Change diaper. Give antibiotic. Nurse back to sleep.
9:15 Lay him down. Immediately get puked on.
9:20 Hand kiddo to hubby. Change my clothes. Change his clothes. Move to rocking chair while hubby changes sheets.
9:40 Kiddo back asleep, this time on my lap. Say prayers he is asleep for the night and no more puking or pooping.
10:45 Post this blog entry. So far, so good. Head for bed.

Somehow, I knew when getting puked on first thing in the morning, I would be in for a rough day. We'll be spending tomorrow at home, in hopes that he gets over the stomach bug that has obviously affected his class.

I. Can't. Do. This.

Okay. "Can't" is probably too strong of a word. Because I CAN do this. And I know that. I remind myself regularly that lots of women work and raise a family. But, as I sat last night, nursing the kiddo to sleep and crying because of how I had lost my temper and yelled at him while getting him ready for bed, "I Can't DO This" is exactly what was going through my mind. And it wasn't even a real "yell." I just raised my voice and spoke sternly. And he cried. And it was for him doing normal, toddler things. (squirming around while I was trying to get him into his pajamas)

I felt AWFUL for it. I should not be losing my temper with him over something so petty. No way. And it's only because I am SO FREAKING TIRED. Exhausted, really. Beyond that. 2 weeks of work. Chasing, lifting, entertaining, changing, and cleaning up after toddlers all day long. The kiddo is in my class, which is nice to be with him during the day. But, we get home and he finally has mommy all to himself so he is incredibly clingy and needy from the time we walk in the door until he is asleep. And on weekends, he's the same way. I can barely leave the room without him screaming. Something they say will get better, but I've been back to work for over a month and no change. Saturday and Sunday he nurses all day long while he's awake and asleep. Of course, "sleep" is a relative term. I'm up 4-6 (or more) times a night, every night, with him still wanting to nurse. And then we get up and do it all over again the next day.

The hubby has been wonderful-- he helps out with dinner, bathtime, getting our things together for the next day, and pretty much anything I need-- I would be even more lost if not for him. I would suck as a single-mom... don't know how they do it. Amazing! But, in my emotional, tear-filled state last night, all I could think about was how much the job thing is NOT working.

The job was supposed to make things better for our family-- more money coming in to get caught up on our bills and hopefully, get ahead. (We're SO far behind right now, I'm struggling to see an end in sight.) Over 1/2 my paycheck goes to daycare and gas. And it is abosolutely not fair to my kid that his mommy has no energy or patience for him because she's too worn out from taking care of other people's kids all day. So, I'm struggling to see how this is "better."

I know night-weaning seems like the obvious answer. But, neither he nor I is ready for that. He is a horrible eater still. Improving since starting school, but still has a way to go. He has food sensitivities-- one being dairy-- so I can't just give him milk in a cup instead of the b*oob. He's already a peanut and starting to fall on the growth charts. He needs those calories. It isn't comfort nursing he's doing at night... he's tanking up. He still needs it. And it isn't fair of me to force him to give it up because we decided I should go back to work and now am running out of steam. Add to that, he's been sick from the first day we walked in the door. I can't even imagine how much worse it would be if he weren't still nursing.

I don't know what the answer is. Or if there is an answer. I just know that what we're doing right now isn't working. For the kiddo or for me.

While you wait...

Second full week at work. Second ear infection in the little guy. Actually, they think the first one just didn't fully clear up. So, second round of antibiotics. And second round of hourly night wakings. And crabby, cranky, fussy baby that won't let me have 2 seconds of peace.

So, while you wait for me to find some time to write a real post. Share with me. What's the worst gift you got for the holidays??? C'mon. You know there was something you didn't like. Now's your chance. If not this year, then pick from a previous gift. Vent about your dh/mil/bf's bad taste. You're safe here. Your family doesn't read my blog. Vent away.

Should I start? This year... it was a placemat/napkin set made by my MIL. Nice gift. Love the placemats she makes. But, she used fabric that was given to her by MY mom. That, of course, my mom had offered to me first and I had turned down because I thought it was rather ugly and totally not in my taste. *SIGH* But, hey. She tried. And they ARE better than the matching fleece vests she made for the hubby and I last year. Which, btw, have never been off the top shelf of the closet.

Okay. Your turn. Get it off your chest.

Happy New Year & Such

Let's see. Today is the 7th. Almost the 8th. And I'd said one thing I wanted to do this year was post more regularly on this blog. Hmmm...... not looking good for me so far, is it?

I returned to work in December, part time, and this week is my first full time week. It's a crazy long story I don't have time to go into now. But, I am back in child care. And little man is currently in my classroom, so I still get to spend my days with him.

He was diagnosed with pneumonia just a few days before Christmas. Viral, thankfully, and by the time we figured out what was causing the fever, he was nearing the end of it and was better by the holiday. Last Friday, he spiked yet another fever and found he has an ear infection. It's only been a few weeks and I already hate the daycare germs!

With all the sickies, sleep has been horrible, at best. Some nights he is literally up every. single. hour. It never bothered me when I was home with him. I just slept in with him and napped when he napped. Now that I'm getting up at 5:45, getting us both ready and out the door, working all day chasing 5 toddlers around, and doing it all on choppy sleep. Ugh. I'm beat! And it's only Monday.

So, that's the quick rundown. Time is limited. With luck, he'll get back to better sleep soon and I'll get more than 5 minutes on here before my tired ass is crawling into bed, dreading the first waking. And hating the early morning alarm.

He Turned One...

Yes. My little man is one year old now! So, hard to believe. And also the reason I've been away for yet another month. What, with getting things all together and organized for his party, which was quickly followed by Thanksgiving and the holiday season kick-off. It's been busy, busy!

The little man is all toddler. He's running and climbing and into everything. My mornings start with a grin and a "hi-eeeee" ("hi" is always said with a drawn-out E on the end of it) when he sees me. So cute! And always puts a smile on my face. We are also greeted with that sweet, sing-songy "hi-eeeeee" anytime he sees us after leaving the room, and when he comes up to you and greets you with it because he wants something from you.

Just the other night, he told us "no" (Doe!) when we were telling him to do something he didn't want to do. (sit down in his rocking chair) Until that point, "Doe!" had been reserved for shouting at the dog when she barks.

He's finally starting to eat some table food. Mostly crackers and toast. But, it's a start.

Still nursing several times a day and at night. Someday, I'll get to sleep again.

He's full of personality and smiles and always makes us laugh. He loves to push his cars around and make a "vroom" sound. His favorite game is "whoa, whoa, whoa"--- which is us holding his hands and rocking back and forth while singing "Row Your Boat." He likes playing chase with the dog. And pushing buttons on the tv. He chatters all day long, takes one nap in the afternoon, and chatters non-stop until bedtime.

I still have a hard time believing he is one year old, now. And a hard time believing I've been a mommy for that long. It's been an incredible year and not a day goes by that I don't count my biggest blessing... my little guy... and give thanks for all he has brought to our lives. My little miracle. And the light of my life.

Ummmm....

Really? It's been a month since that last post? How did that happen? I swear I wrote that just a week ago!

Things are busy. Going and doing. Getting ready for Halloween. And cleaning and preparing for the kiddo's first birthday. I can't believe he turns one in just a couple of weeks! The year has gone too fast.

Thanks for the tips/reassurance on the food post. He's regularly eating 3 meals a day now. Still all purees. I make all his food, but finally caved and bought some Stage 3 jars. I'm hoping the extra texture in those will help him make the transition. I've tried leaving the food I make more textured when I puree it... but he's wanted nothing to do with it. So far, he's eating the jarred stuff without gagging... which is a good start. And yesterday, I gave him a piece of toast and he actually ate a couple bites of it. Slow progress.... but progress, none the less!

I often sit down at the computer with the intention of writing a post. Check my email. Check the groups. And by that time, the kid is hanging on my leg, and either a) shoving the keyboard tray back under the desk and away from my hands so I'll pay attention to him. or b) SCREAMING because he wants to play with the keyboard and I won't let him. Either way, it makes if nearly impossible to write. And, since he doesn't sleep worth a darn, I don't get much writing time then, either. The short time he sleeps in his bed and I do get free time, I'm usually trying to get caught up on a million and twelve things.

Stick with me. He's bound to get over this phase and learn to sleep and cooperate to give me a few minutes of time. Someday.......................